Well let’s face it, lack of sleep helps nothing and nobody. Always impacts on skin.. I’ve never mastered sleeping through even when skin is ok, but sometimes when I do, I wake up totally surprised and very pleased!

But right now – and nothing to do with skin – I wake up feeling blue at what our country has chosen to do. And to add insult to injury but only short term, our overpaid football team is also out! Aaaaargh!

https://twitter.com/lulustyle/status/746248461251641344But if I allow the sadness to upset my immune system it might!

So, got through those tough 2 weeks with 9 days of burning allergy reaction to normal eczema damage… Then – I’ve enjoyed the peace that steroid ointment brings and always have the hope this is it this time! A break! But no, I’ve cut down on the steroid and the itching has gone up. On arms and legs… Not terribly, but boring and annoying. I’ve had a headache a lot today… That’s not helpful. Think it’s the humidity and air pressure. I can hear lots of thunder in the distance tonight. Good! Bring it on and clear the air. I’m a blimmin delicate flower doncha know??!!

And it has left me! The swollen legs are no more and the rash and weird skin gone too. HOWEVER! Been only itchy once a day – usually early evening… And sadly last night it was an eczema itch that went mad. You CAN definitely tell difference between the eczema itch and others. And I went a bit frenzied and ended up traumatising myself a bit… One of my fingernails tore below nail line and hooked into the back of my leg and ripped deep. Disgusting. Blood dripping on floor and long thin scratch marks elsewhere too. I felt sick and too panicked to look at wound so got my lovely 15 year old out of her room and asked her to help. I was crying cos it’s horrible innit? She said it’s a bit deep but she stopped the bleeding, covered me in cream and gave me my cotton pyjama bottoms. Honestly it still makes me sad this morning even though I should ‘used’ to it by now after all these years eh?

Since 3 June and that severe reaction to whatever the hec it was, I’ve had sunburnt-feeling, burning, hurting legs, with the added bonus of intense, almost vomit-inducing itchiness. My arms were a lesser level. 3 days ago the burning stopped, but the draw to itch, albeit once a day, did not. And then there’s tonight. Nothing… My left ankle and leg is still a bit swollen compared to my right. And there’s still the remainder of a rash. But the redness has died down and… Even when I took my jeans off – absolutely no itching sensation! I didn’t even have to rush to get pjs on to protect myself from wanting to scratch! My feet played up last night, but that was an eczema-feel… So I whacked on the Dermovate. But, for my legs – all I’ve used since it happened is Bath E45 in cool baths, and various emollients. Now it’s  like something has physically left me – thank f**k for that! I’m so calm I’m excited! Aaahhhh! 

Lately I’ve found myself likening eczema to self-harming, but really there’s a fundamental difference – I think… In that self-harming folk are in a bad state mentally when they choose to self-harm, whereas us #eczema folk harm ourselves after spending hours resisting and not wanting to give in to the terrific urge to scratch, and then having to bloody well do so! Causing momentary ecstasy followed mostly by pain and wounds. As I’ve just this minute experienced the horrificness of such an episode, leaving me feeling sore and pissed off that I gave in to the draw, I thought I’d get into bed l, covered in cream and cotton pjs, and write about it 😁. Sorry about the swearing ☹️

So the doc on Friday said oh my god that looks like a severe allergic reaction! Prescribed a strong antihistamine and refused to let me try two different emollients.. Purely for wielding power… Nothing changes.. I’m a grown up, I’ve bought and tried one of ’em, but he said no, I’d have to book to see someone else who is the skin doctor… Load of crap….

Then I send photos of my leg (above and improving slowly,) to my lovely Prof who is a seasoned, kind dermatologist and he said it just looks like a terrible onset of eczema and the antihistamines won’t work!!! Aargh! I FEEL it was a reaction to something but who knows what and who ever can help..?

You see?  I’m irritated generally!